I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
