P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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