I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
