If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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