I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
