My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
