There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
