The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
