Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
