She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
