So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
