she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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