fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
