He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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