Sry I called you an 8
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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