So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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