I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
