Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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