he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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