you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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