oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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