Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
