Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
