I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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