I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
