I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
