You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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