Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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