No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
