no, he came in my armpit
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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