I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
