Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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