yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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