like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
