They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
