There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
