I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
