I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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