No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
