every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
