Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
