What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
