i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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