I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
