he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I can text with my tongue
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
