While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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