Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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