Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
