if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
