Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
