jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
