i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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