remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
