shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize