If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
