i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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