I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
