when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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