i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
