Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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