how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
