is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
