Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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